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Satire

Do we need another perfect game?

The Earth depends on it

A Subjective Ranking of Jerry Dipoto’s Nicknames

(chucks egg at hot frying pan) this is your brain on comment sections...any questions?

So Your Baseball Team Has Never Been to the World Series

A Fan’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving Sans Pennant

This Year’s Can’t-Miss Ballpark Promos

They’re the best team in baseball - here’s the best stuff they’re going to give us

67 Reasons Tim Beckham is the Best Player in Baseball

Numbers 14, 37, and 62 will shock you!

Black Market Mariners Holiday Gift Guide: The Return

The sprinkles are DEFINITELY cursed

Trick-or-Treat with the Mariners

We’ve gotten the "no playoffs" trick enough times, time to see what treats the Mariners have for us

About Last Night: That Ball Really Did Have a Family, Nelson

About Last Night: Zunino Goes (Train)Yard

Sam Carlson, Minnesotan Baseball Pitcher

A Q+A with Minnesota Baseball Scout, Ogie Holmquist

Mariners Photo Day 2017

All right, class, it’s photo day, so let’s roll out some superlatives

City of Seattle Leaks Proposed Schedule for Safeco Field Offseason Use

With arena discussions in the air, the City of Seattle has decreed Safeco Field must host more activities during the winter.

Wade Miley Goes Undercover to Seek the Truth

A tale of action, intrigue, and tragedy.

A Viewer’s Guide to Hating the Toronto Blue Jays

10 tips to get your creative rage flowing.

Mariners announce “Color Blast” uniforms

Looks like they were ready to rage.

The Best (Im)Possible Mariners This Year Has to Offer

All over the continent, the Mariners are excelling.

Tom Wilhelmsen, Double Agent: An LL ExcLLusive

How a couple relievers played two MLB organizations like marionettes.

Lady Katherine’s School For Wayward Mariners

Pime and Crunishment

Robinson Cano: M(o)V(errated)P

Cano is a chump. If you like Cano, you're a chump. Don't be a chump.

Celebrate National Poetry Writing Month With the Mariners

Because poets and Mariners fans share equal temperaments

Early season trends and analysis

Because a baseball season is, in fact, 161 re-playings of a single game.

Goosin' Gossage

FORMER MARINER SHAMES US ALL BY DARRYL P SKEEBY

Sweat Lodgin' With the Sweathogs

Notes From the Final Trust Circle of the First Annual Seattle Mariners Hitting Summit

Jonathan Papelbon Thinks Your City Sucks

On Tuesday, Jerry Crasnick of ESPN reported that Jonathan Papelbon has a staggering 17 teams on his no-trade list. Did your favorite city make the cut?

Fortune cookies with Darryl P. Skeeby

Just something to wash down the Mongolian Beef.

No Kidz in the Hall By Darryl Skeeby

I leave for one week and look what you did.

Hottaeking with Darryl P. Skeeby

How do you turn this thing on.

Lookout Landing's offseason plans

We've got plans.

On the future of the ejection in the Mariners org

Have the Mariners made their first big mistake of the Dipoto era?

Jack Zduriencik: Staying the course

In a trying season, with his legacy on the brink, the Mariners General Manager points to the process in the past, and believes in a bright future.

D.J. Peterson: Full Speed Ahead

D.J. Peterson had to make a pit stop on his race for the majors. Now, it looks like he's ready to get back onto the track.

Safeco Missed Connections: Miller Jersey

When I met you in the summer.