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Seattle Mariners Game Recaps

Bush league Angels defeat Pacific Coast League Mariners 2-1

Anaheim’s stars act like babies, manager acts like thug

Mariners refuse to join the clean plate club, sneak extra taste of sweet victory anyways

Tastes like a win.

Mariners crack case of who killed the season, beat Angels 4-3

fishy business down in Anaheim

The Seattle Mariners super smash the Oakland Athletics in their own living room, shut them out 9-0 behind dominant Kirby

The M’s win their second blowout in a row against the hapless Athletics, secure series win, and look like pro gamers doing so

Mariners win baseball game slowly, then all at once

Offense wakes up, Marco is excellent again, Mariners cruise to 8-2 win

The Mariners’ 21 scoreless innings streak, in songs

This game sucked, but a lot of these songs do not

Maximalist Mariners love excess, defeat spartan Angels 8-1

Robbie Ray takes a no-hitter into the 7th, Mariners crush the Ohtani-less Angels 8-1

Angels stars, Mariners scrubs, Seattle loses 4-1

The Troutanhi show defeats the Mariners’ dim spotlight

Nine better things to do than watch nine innings of the Mariners play (and lose to) the Twins on YouTube

Seriously, find just about anything else to do, and you’re likely to have more fun

Mariners embrace negative capability, win surprising shutout victory over Twins, 5-0

Logan Gilbert continues to solidify his ace status, Mariners remember how to home run

Mariners can’t shake case of No Hitsitis, lose to Twins 3-2

After a boring, bad game yesterday the Mariners followed that up with a boring, bad game today

Robbie Ray plays in disguise, Red Sox forget how to hit him, Mariners forget how to hit anything, lose

Somehow this one kind of feels like a tie?

Seattle Mariners break curse by invoking Chaos, beat Red Sox 7-6 in walk-off fashion

After losing seven straight to Boston, the Mariners decide enough is enough and say no, Moore

Stars—they’re just like us (if we also lost to Boston again, this time 4-3)!

us weekLLy—the blog for people too lazy to read the articles in peopLLe

Mariners snooze, lose 4-1

Sometimes baseball is exciting, sometimes it’s designed in a lab to amplify melatonin production

Mariners defeat Astros, Minute Maid Park, old behavior patterns, magical thinking itself

Tonight we learned who knows what sage smells like and who doesn’t season their food well

Mariners return to the land of Chaos, defeat Texas 6-5

never pray to the gods that answer after dark

Quality not enough as Mariners fall to Rangers 3-2

A little girl spilled her ice cream on a J.P. foul ball, but that metaphor is too easy, and, frankly, she’s been through enough

Mariners sleepwalk through eight innings, jolt awake in time for 4-3 victory

this had all the makings of a boring loss until it didn’t!

Mariners pick on someone their own size, shove over rival toddler, claim series win over Orioles

A win is a win, after all

Mariners team gets all parts on the same page, in bad book, lose 2-9 against the Orioles

The book is titled "How to Lose, and Lose Bad"

Both starting pitchers have themselves a treat, Mariners offense is on diet, lose to Astros 1-2

Marco brings cookies for the team, Astros steal them before the Mariners offense can have any

Logan Gilbert shoves, Astros trip over own shoes

Mariners earn a series win with a delightful shutout victory over the Astros

Mariners make their case with the long ball, win 6-1

repair is possible

Mariners fail to obey signal flags, lose 4-2

Mariners lose to the A’s, 7-5, which is fine, actually

How a Parking Lot Fender-Bender Helped Me Learn to Love the 2022 Mariners

Mariners eschew modern psychology, go all in on immersion therapy, win 7-6

Get wins or die trying.

Mariners continue to swim upstream, lose to dam Boston Red Sox

Seattle offense still struggles to climb, trying to find way back home to winning waters, bullpen continues to block path

Is Julio’s performance a footnote in the Mariners’ 6-5 loss to Boston or is the Mariners’ 6-5 loss to Boston a footnote in Julio’s performance?

Flowers for Julio

Mariners promo offers “free runs” to first 26 Red Sox players, Mariners lose 12-6

Now we got problems, and I don’t think we can solve ‘em

Mariners bail water in final game against Blue Jays, win 5-1

Heading back south of the border with a win

Another day, another fantastic pitching performance wasted as Mariners fall 0-3 to Jays

Mariners are polite house guests, do nothing to cause offense