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73-56: Chart

On the day Lookout Landing played softball, the Mariners went hard.

MLB: Oakland Athletics at Seattle Mariners Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Waltery tart throwing swords: Logan Gilbert, 7 IP, only one earned run on two hits, one walk, and seven strikeouts.

Call that a flat line.
Baseball Savant

Executive power derived from a mandate by the masses: Logan Gilbert, .157 WPA

Farcical aquatic ceremony: Julio Rodríguez, -.046 WPA.

Game thread comment of the day:

Just your typical spoiled, greedy Mariners fan (and also, same:)