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Mariners take the day off a day early, lose series to Nationals

Please indulge me on a clunker of a recap for a clunker of a game

Washington Nationals v Seattle Mariners
same.
Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

I used to recap games more often here at LL before the birth of our second kid. Free time in the evenings before 8 PM has been less of a thing since then. But, since I got laid off from my day job back in April, day games have become an option again for recapping. I bring all this up because one of my favorite recaps from my early days here on staff was versus the Washington Nationals and it involved Nelson Cruz and a ham-fisted parody of a classic Simpsons episode. Today’s recap versus the Nats will be nothing like that because this game sucked.

Without further ado, (and with sincere apologies to anyone reading this who is not terminally online, please go read today’s gamer from Divish or Drayer), I give you the top ten goobie woobies in today’s Washington Nationals versus Seattle Mariners game.

10. Goopoo Loopu (J.P. Crawford)

MLB: Washington Nationals at Seattle Mariners Stephen Brashear-USA TODAY Sports

Number 10 we got Goopoo Loopu. He’s hella funny.

9. Stupoo Doopoo (Davey Martinez)

Then we got Stupoo Doopoo. What a GOAT.

8. Goopy (Geno)

Seattle Mariners v New York Yankees Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Then we got Goopy. He’s a menace, don’t let his appearance fool you.

7. TJ Kreen (José Caballero)

Seattle Mariners v New York Yankees Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Then we got TJ Kreen. What a beast. (Thank you for actually showing up for work today, Death Cabby, and congrats on the dinger)

6. Mr. Denmark (Tom Murphy)

Colorado Rockies v Seattle Mariners Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

Then we got Mr. Denmark. Love him. (Thank you for also showing up for work today and collecting three hits & making a nice play at home plate).

5. Glub Tubbus Wepple (Logan Gilbert)

Washington Nationals v Seattle Mariners Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

No list is complete without Glub Tubbus Wepple.

4. Mr. Dubstep (Jeimer Candelario)

Washington Nationals v Seattle Mariners Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

Uh, then we got Mr. Dubstep (who was once again seemingly attempting to steal signs from second base in the top of the third inning. My brother in christ, you’re playing the 2023 Seattle Mariners, not the Atlanta Braves. Please calm down).

3. Gubgub (Ty France)

MLB: JUN 11 Mariners at Angels Photo by Brandon Sloter/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Aww, it’s Gubgub. I love Gubgub. (who else but Ty could be a Gubgub)

2. Eren (AJ Pollock)

MLB: Spring Training-Chicago White Sox at Seattle Mariners
every single time i see a photo of AJ Pollock i am reminded “oh yeah that’s what AJ Pollock looks like”
Allan Henry-USA TODAY Sports

Then we got Eren.

1. Guy Man (Patrick Corbin)

Washington Nationals v Seattle Mariners Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

Aaaaaand this guy.