In Mariners news...

• I need to be a fly on the wall when Jarred goes to a bingo night and flips a banquet table over when Janice gets her second bingo of the night. Man is capable of looking pressed about anything and I love him for it.

• Any homerun is liable to obliterate someone’s narrative at any given time. This one felt particularly personal.

• The penultimate installment in the All-Star Patch Collection dropped yesterday. Get yours while supplies last!

Around the league...

• Sure the video is cute, but the real content is in the replies and QRTSs of this pitch getting absolutely obliterated.

• A great day for Kyle Hendricks, but a win for Mitch anywhere is a win for Mariners fans everywhere.

• One of these days we need to get a bracket tournament going with the fastest athletes from football, baseball, soccer, and whatever other sports want to participate so we can put this debate to bed once and for all. I don’t know who we have to talk to to get this put together, but I’d like to be at the meeting.

Nick’s pick...

• Babe wake up, they dropped Mordor 2!