Still sleeping in: The Mariners offense, who collectively only managed three hits.
Having more than just a cup of coffee: José Caballero, who notched his first Major League home run and stole three bases.
Wide awake and done with all their chores for the day already: José Caballero, .274 WPA
Still sleeping with the alarm going off and the house on fire: JP Crawford, -.195 WPA
Game thread comment(s) of the day:
José Caballero truthers, rise up.