Mariners 3, Cardinals 7
Making your parents breakfast in bed: Ty France, .159 WPA
Leaving a mess in the kitchen for them to clean up: Chris Flexen, -.526 WPA
Exit velocities on Kolten Wong’s three hits: 69, 86.8, and 66.4 mph
Number of quality starts thrown by Cardinals starters not named Jordan Montgomery: 1 (today)
Person I most hope steps on some Legos left out by a child told three times to clean them up: HP umpire Dan Iassogna, followed in short order by the hordes of Cardinals fans who took over the ballpark this series. Smell ya later, birdbrains.
Game thread comment of the day: