66-54: Chart

Mariners 10, Athletics 2

More than double: What is the amount of hard-hit balls the Mariners hit compared to the Athletics?

One: What is the number of hard-hit balls the M’s bullpen gave up tonight?

The perfect summer bbq: Eugenio Suaréz, .435 WPA

When the guests don’t take the hint that it’s time for them to leave: Adam Frazier/Jesse Winker, -.054 (this also seems very accurate for who would overstay their welcome)

OTD Ichiro, 2012: Displaying the power he actually had inside those wiry forearms, he hit two home runs in a single game for the last of seven times in his career, securing the win for his countryman, Hiroki Kuroda. I’m retconning this and saying that this happened for Seattle.