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Mariners Social Media Spotlight: Jesse Winker is Manscaped, Elijah Green Meets Juan Soto, Jose Cuas is an Artiste

(feat. Noelvi Marte’s farewell TikTok video)

Seattle Mariners v Washington Nationals - Game Two Photo by Scott Taetsch/Getty Images

In Lookout Landing Land...

  • Stay true. Stay blue.
  • I’d argue that a Carlos Santana teddy bear would be a perfect prize to win at your local carnival (add a horned helm for fellow Viking Fest-ers out there)
  • In case it wasn’t abundantly clear, Julio is a national treasure.

In Mariners Land...

  • Well, well, well. Look who secured their very own Manscaped partnership!
  • For those that missed it, Jesse has been very into playing up teammate Dylan Moore’s recent partnership with the aforementioned company, seen in this post from July 8th.
  • We knew we’d be paying a pretty penny for any talent we acquired at the trade deadline, namely a very pretty penny named Noelvi Marte. These Instagram stories he was tagged in and shared shows how beloved he was in the organization. (Good luck in Cincy, Noelvi!)

Saying goodbye to Noelvi through his shared Instagram Stories Good luck in Cincy, Noelvi! #baseballtiktok #marinerstiktok #redstiktok #noelvimartetiktok #mlbtiktok

♬ Too Good At Goodbyes - Sam Smith
  • Speaking of having to pay a pretty penny to get an equally-but-more-readily-available penny, I will tap tap tap on this sign (but also say Dammmmm, too)

In Baseball Land...

  • You can almost see the exact moment National’s top pick Elijah Green died and went to heaven when he’s approached by Juan Soto.
  • MLB Network had Kansas City Royal’s RHP Jose Cuas demonstrate his artistic prowess on their show this week. Someone get this guy a full-ride to RISD.
  • Look at that HUSTLE from new Met and former Mariner love, Daniel Vogelbach. Someone drank their C4 this morning.
  • Joey Votto isn’t a Mariner, but he gives off BIG Mariner vibes.

In Shay Land...

  • I didn’t find this TikTok from June until this week but dear g-d I know what I’m doing for my bachelorette party. Once I’m engaged. After I find a girlfriend.

A bach trip for the history books

♬ Sexy Bitch (feat. Akon) - David Guetta