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Double your pressure, none of the runs, Mariners lose 3-0

group recap of a disasterpiece

MLB: Game Two-Los Angeles Angels at Seattle Mariners Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

1st inning:

As the one tasked with penning (no pun intended) the introduction to this missive, I find myself at a loss as to where to begin. We have just come off of a devastating loss in the early-afternoon game.

“Losses aren’t so bad when you’re actually at the ballpark,” we told each other in the 9th inning of the first game, with victory still in reach. Most of the time, that’s true. When the Mariners strand what feels like an entire roster’s worth of runners, and Diego Castillo gets within one out of escaping the tenth inning before Mike Trout hits a dinger to make it a 4-2 game… well, I guess sometimes losses do feel bad when you witness them in person.

Penn Murfee retired the side to begin game two, though Ohtani came within six inches of a dinger.

Julio doubled, Suárez walked, and J.P. forced a hurried throw and legs out an infield single to load the bases. Dylan Moore walked to home plate. Ozzie Osbourne maniacally cackled, and the opening chords to “Crazy Train” thrummed through my body as Dylan hoisted his bat. He proceeds to strike out without much of a fight. So does Justin Upton. Here we go again.
-Zach

2nd inning:

After getting Matt Duffy to fly out weakly, Murfee gave up a double to Luis Rengifo, and struck out David MacKinnon, who looks like Divorced Dad Noah Syndergaard. He then walked Stassi before getting Juan Lagares to ground out for the third out. It’s not Murfee’s sharpest inning of work, but literally at this point what more can you ask of him.

Cal Raleigh worked a single in the bottom of the second but other than that the Mariners weren’t able to do anything else against Jose Suarez. Spirits are still high in the bleachers, especially as several members of our party decamp to collect pretzels (new and improved) or pulled pork mac and cheese, but we are suspicious. -Kate

Third inning:

Holy shit, it’s Tommy Milone! He’s back! In bullpen game form. Andrew Velazquez flew out and then Taylor Ward legged out an infield single that was then overturned by replay review, and I honestly couldn’t believe the New York office got it right. Immediately, Mike Trout smashed a home run to right center field for the 51st time versus the Mariners. “I TOLD YOU THAT BOY GOOD!” screams an Angel fan behind us and, well, okay sir, you and the rest of the free world. Thankfully Ohtani flew out for the third out and Milone was off the hook for the time being.

Ty France grounded out and then Suárez struck out, leaving the home 3rd to J.P. alone to bring something home. He grounded out weakly and did not bring anything home. Please jeebus let the Mariners score some runs this next inning. -Eric

Fourth inning:

A tidy 1-2-3 inning from Milone set the middle-bottom of the Angels order down posthaste, but unfortunately the middle-bottom of the Mariners order was equally punchless despite Justin Upton working a walk. At this point Grant is loudly declaiming that Milone will throw the rest of this game as a shutout, but at the end of the ninth inning his arm falls off G.I. Joe-style. Stay tuned, so far it’s the most interesting thing about this game. -Kate

Fifth Inning

At a between-games jaunt over to Alstadt, I had a quite good glass of Fremont Mischief Bourbon - it was complex, warming, notes of smoke and chocolate ran through it. There was a lot going on in that glass.
By comparison, this fifth inning was a nothing-burger, though with a little side of action (as a treat). We debated which pitchers would trade two back-to-back no-hitters in exchange for the end of their pitching careers. Tommy Milone, allegedly, pitched a shutout, three-up three-down top half of the fifth. I say allegedly only because Tommy Milone very much seems like someone who may or may not exist.
In the bottom of the fifth, Cal worked another very professional at-bat, drawing a walk. Julio struck out, while Ty France did more Ty France things, lacing a lil single up the middle. But, a Suárez flyout and a JP pop-up ended that. -Nick

Sixth Inning

Tommy Milone and his 83 MPH fastball soldiered on; after retiring Taylor Ward on a lineout right to a shifted Toro, Trout loomed once again. This time, his 52nd homer in Seattle would have to wait, but he dropped a single right into the left-center triangle. Such doilies are only fun when they happen to us, dammit! Milone quickly redeemed himself with an eight-pitch strikeout of Ohtani, though, and got Matt Duffy on an easy groundout to escape any further trouble. Ross Detwiler, your ghost still lives in T-Mobile.

After taking over with one out in the fifth, Jimmy Herget stayed on to start the bottom of the frame. Dylan Moore and Justin Upton were easily set down across seven pitches, but Toro put up slightly more, but not nearly enough of a battle, fighting Herget for five pitches before weakly grounding out to first. Blahhhhh. As we entered the last third of the game, that 1-0 score started feeling more and more like 10-0. -Connor

Seventh Inning

Dear reader, I (being from Texas) have only attended 5 Mariners games in person. They have lost all 5.

Well anyway, Sergio Romo came in to pitch the 7th, gave up a double to Luis Rengifo, and kindly moved the runner to third on a wild pitch. It wouldn’t matter anyway, though, since Jarred Walsh immediately launched a pinch hit home run to make it 3-0. Penn Murfee was in this game earlier. That was cool.

Romo retired the next two batters he faced, including winning the Battle of the Beards by getting Brandon Marsh to flyout to right. He gave up a single to Velazquez right after, but hey, baby steps.

Isabelle right in front of me was murmuring affirmations for Sergio to have some success, and it must have worked because he struck out Taylor Ward! Love that for him.

In the bottom of the inning, Julio continued to be the most fun part of this team by lining a two out double that was juuuuuuuuuust fair down the left field line. We got a great view of Marsh completely missing that it was going to bang up against the stands. France grounded out right after so it didn’t actually matter, but hits are cool. More please. -Jacob

Eighth Inning

“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it. So thank goodness for the Seattle Mariners,” said Maya Angelou, watching from above as the M’s played game two of a doubleheader on Saturday night.

There is a large portion of the population, larger than Rob Manfred would care to admit, that finds baseball terribly boring. Usually I don’t understand that sentiment but now, thanks to the Mariners’ performance this evening, I can truly empathize with those folks. The glass is coated in a puce layer of slime, and there are threateningly jagged edges along the top, but the murky goo within is at least half full.

[Justus Sheffield pitched a scoreless, easy top half, the offense refused to consider scoring.]

9th inning

now, you may be asking yourself, “ why don’t the M’s have any runs?”

and the answer to that is that they are simply bad.

bottom of the ninth, our only chance for a last minute run, and one has not happened. Baberaham is up to bat, and is not making the eyes TM. Lusty Adam is out.

sad day. Baseball is bad.