12-12: Chart

Astros 4, Mariners 0

Chris Flexen: 5 IP, 1 ER (solo HR to Álvarez)

Total hits recorded by the Mariners: 4

Number of extra-base hits: 0

The best little WPAhouse in Texas: I don’t care who actually earned this (Flexen), I am giving it to Penn Murfee, the only pitcher who didn’t allow a run, and also to Jarred Kelenic, who walked twice and did not strike out once. Progress!

Getting Chainsaw Massacred: Every Mariners hitter? They were all bad, but WPA says Jesse Winker was the worst, actively killing a scoring threat by grounding into a double play, stranding three, as well as going hitless with one strikeout.

On this day in Ichiro: we’re not gonna taint Ichiro by bringing him into this debacle