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Sea Us Summarize: Mariners week in review 5/16-5/23

Gorillas in the Mist. But the mist was this week of baseball, and the gorillas are the M’s swiftly dissipating playoff hopes

Seattle Mariners v Boston Red Sox
Nailed it
Photo by Billie Weiss/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images

Logically, I know the Mariners have played worse baseball. But logic is rarely a comfort in fandom. This season began with higher hopes and expectations than most others, and that’s made the team’s precipitous fall all the more gruesome. Beyond that layer of disappointment is the brutal echo of familiarity. We’ve witnessed these types of crushing defeats, and we knew at the start of this year that there were real and glaring weaknesses ready to rear their heads at a moment’s - or ligament’s - notice. Watching this team is like growing up with cable. There was always that one movie rerun on TNT or A&E that popped up regardless of when you were channel surfing, and no matter what time it was the movie was always at the same general spot and you never got the full story. Where did Brendan Fraser get that book? Why is the mummy so angry? What time period is this all taking place?

We’ve seen this Mariners season before, we know the path they’re headed down and we know how the story ends. Will Seattle be able to change the channel in time?

Record for the week:

1-6

To be honest, I’m shocked they won the one.

Run differential:

-18

Player of the week:

It’s us. Every person who willfully chose to watch and cheer for the Seattle baseball team this week. And a particular shout-out to each of you who continue to frequent this space and make it such a flaming bastion of Marinerdom.

Play of the week:

Usually I’m very good at sorting through the chaff to find the wheat (it’s not my fault if this metaphor is incorrect, I’m gluten free), but this week I don’t feel like the chaff did enough to even bother sorting. So instead, in homage to what has always been my favorite place to lurk, a prompt!

How long is your most enduring friendship? How did you meet, and what do you credit with the longevity of that relationship?

At-bat of the week:

We’re going to change this one up too.

Nemesis of the week:

We all know who this week’s title belongs to…

https://www.espn.com/video/clip/_/id/33948709

Favorite Mariners content:

Lost in a sea of excellent recaps of abysmal games was new writer Zach Mason’s sweeping piece about Chris Flexen and another historic mariner with truly terrible fortune.

Favorite thing I ate while watching/listening to a game:

It’s s’mores season, baby. There is simply nothing better than a well-toasted marshmallow. I could not be bothered to tote the fire pit out and undergo that whole rigamarole (there are some heavy-handed metaphors here I’m certain), but I did make suburban s’mores in the microwave and they still made me happy.

Bold prediction for next week:

The Mariners win more than one baseball game. Julio steals five bases. TT dingers. Sam Haggerty walks it off on Wednesday. Marco throws a complete game. We see Kyle Lewis in the dugout at T-Mobile Park.

Shhh, I’m manifesting.

Looking forward:

There is, somehow, more Mariners baseball coming. They face the cellar-dwelling A’s for the first time this season in a three-game series, then round out their AL West week with three against the Astros. They’re now 8-18 on the road, so perhaps a return to their magenta confines will ease their woes. Otherwise they’ll likely soon be looking at last place in the division.

This week in Mariners history:

On May 18, 1999 Hall of Famer Edgar Martinez mashed three home runs to tie a major league record for five homers in a two-game span. Twenty-two years to the day later, Spencer Turnbull no-hit the Mariners at home in my first game back at T-Mobile Park in years. It remains a personal baseball low.