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40 in 25: Kevin Padlo

Like Kevin Malone, we’re spilling the beans on our own Kevin.

Arizona Diamondbacks v Seattle Mariners Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images

Before we begin, let’s start with a quick poll.


Definitively, did you know what Kevin Padlo looked like before you saw the feature image?

This poll is closed

  • 2%
    Yeah, definitely.
    (18 votes)
  • 3%
    Only if he were wearing Mariners gear.
    (24 votes)
  • 93%
    No shot in hell.
    (579 votes)
621 votes total Vote Now

I won’t lie, even if you put him in Seattle Mariners garb I still wouldn’t recognize the guy. I would think he was a random white guy minor leaguer in our system with a random white guy name. Like “Kevin,” for example.

Speaking of the minor leagues, that’s where we’ll see him to start the year.

To no fault of his own, Kevin’s identity screams anonymity, but he is solidly a baseball player. His existence may rival someone that accidentally found themself in the witness protection program, but he is also one of 0.5% of high school players that get drafted and one of the 32% of fifth round picks that will eventually reach the majors.

So while Anonymous Kevin could walk through Pike Place Market without being recognized, he can walk through knowing he can probably afford at least three of those fancy-ass cheeses from Quality Cheese Inc. (as long as he saved a little bit of that $650,000 signing bonus from when the Rockies drafted him 143rd overall in the 2014 Draft).

Rockin’ around

Anonymous Kevin and Really Anonymous Coltin were the talk of Murrieta for a brief moment.

Anonymous Kevin may be appropriate as a Major League nickname, but when he came out of Murrieta Valley in 2014 he was given the feature in the local paper treatment alongside another draft hopeful, Coltin Gerhart.

One look at Coltin’s profile and you can see he was never drafted. Whoops.

But Anonymous Kevin was drafted and that’s why we’re here. In 2015 he debuted on the Rockies Prospect List at #15 alongside some names you might recognize:

Not a bad crew.

To say Anonymous Kevin was in good company is an understatement. I mean, he was on the same prospect list as Tom-Freakin-Murphy.

Aaaaaaand then this happened:

From Denver to Tampa: The Musical

That’s right, Anonymous Kevin was the no-hyperlink-to-player-profile addition in the trade that sent Corey Dickerson and himself to the Rays and Jake McGee and German Marquez to Colorado.

Rays for days

MLB: Spring Training-Philadelphia Phillies at Tampa Bay Rays
Look how excited Anonymous Kevin is to be a Ray!
Douglas DeFelice-USA TODAY Sports

Following his trade to Tampa in 2016, Anonymous Kevin spent 5 years in the Minors and was even featured on MLB Pipeline for hitting a ball over a fence:

Following his solid performance at Spring Training in 2021, The Call™ came from inside the house (the organization) and Anonymous Kevin made his MLB Debut on April 06, 2021.

Only for this to happen four months later:

And this a few days after that:

Anonymous in Seattle

Seattle Mariners v Milwaukee Brewers
If you squint it’s almost like he’s back in a Rays uniform.
Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images

Like I said at the top, Anonymous Kevin is anonymous to no fault of his own. He only arrived in Seattle last summer and was recalled from Tacoma only to play in one game, where he struck out in his only at-bat before being sent back down to the Foss High School parking lot Cheney Stadium.

Anonymous Kevin is a player that has been on the Top 30 Prospect Lists for both the Rockies and Rays so we know he’s got some baseball prowess dinkin’ around in his upstairs noodle. How he performs this year remains to be seen. He’s not incompetent, which, isn’t exactly the only praise you want to be given in baseball circles, but it’s what we’ve got.

Pad yourself on the back, Anonymous Kevin, you’ve made it this far.

Now, tell me...


What roster will Kevin Padlo be on at the end of 2022?

This poll is closed

  • 8%
    Major League with the M’s
    (37 votes)
  • 50%
    Minor League with the M’s
    (228 votes)
  • 10%
    Major League with another team
    (49 votes)
  • 30%
    Minor League with another team
    (136 votes)
450 votes total Vote Now