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Mariners Can Catch Balls But Can’t Catch a Break, Lose 2-1

Get Billy Hamilton a deal with a local brewery because that man’s clearly got hops.

MLB: Spring Training-Cleveland Guardians at Seattle Mariners Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

Good evening night owls and good morning weekend warriors. Shay, here, and I’m coming to you from my brand new pair of Mariners jammies that one of my best friends got me for my birthday. Given that I’m based in Rhode Island and expect to be based in Rhode Island for years to come, I have a feeling that these jammies are going to become a staple in my lounge wardrobe for all the 10:10pm games I’ll be catching during the regular season.

Now, for the recap.

Scott’s Tots for 04/01/22 vs. COL

Adam, Abraham, Luis, Eugenio, Julio, J.P., Dyland, Jarred, Cal, and Matt

Tonight the bats from the boys in baby blue weren’t screaming “look at me.” But what was was the man the Mariners put on the mound to start.

Matt Brash prove-it performance

Photorealism at its finest.

With a week left before the regular season, this Coach Taylor-less Friday Night Lights matchup held a great deal of importance for several of M’s trying to make the Opening Day roster, but probably for none more than Matt Brash.

With the last spot in the starting rotation up for grabs, this game for Brash was his one shot, his one opportunity. Did he capture it? Or did he let it slip?

Update: he captured it.

Did Brash give up a solo shot to Charlie Blackmon that jumped off his bat quicker than me walking to work after I take a higher dose of my Vyvanse than I probably should? He sure did, but that doesn’t tell the whole story.

What will be remembered from this game is that he struck out 5, walked one, and limited the Rockies to only two hits over 4.1 innings that included a double by C.J. Cron in the 2nd inning and the aforementioned shot by Blackmon that went weeeeeee over the right field fence.

What his stats tell us is he hit 98 on his 4-seam fastball, he got batters sillily missing his 65 offerings with some big ol’ swings n’ misses over half the time, and that his changeup made one cute little appearance.

What the stats don’t tell is the ~~ vibes ~~ he was giving off. From the moment he threw his first pitch, Brash looked like he belonged on that mound staring down the likes of Blackmon and Bryant. He operated with an intensity that can only be described as that of an older sister when she sees her younger sister wearing her shirt. IT’S MINE. In this analogy the shirt is the final spot in the rotation.

Pitch, please.

Matt Brash can’t pitch a whole game. I mean, he probably could but he won’t. Instead we got Castillo for 0.2 innings that included a strikeout and a walk, Kirby for 3 innings that included a hit but also 3 strikeouts, and other Matt Festa that pitched the 9th and struck out 2, only to give up the winning run to that one guy named Mike from Gig Harbor.

The loss sucks, but it’s Spring Training so it doesn’t really suck and we got to see four of our pitchers combine for only 4 hits in the game. That doesn’t suck.

Okay but that catch, though.

I saw it. You saw it. Jesus, himself, saw it.

That was one reaction. Here’s another via the Lookout Landing Slack:

Clearly we are a calm people.

And then there was my completely rational reaction:

Ha ha. April Fool’s. It did not.

But for real, though...




How high did Billy Hamilton jump?

This poll is closed

  • 32%
    420 feet
    (115 votes)
  • 40%
    Into the stratosphere
    (142 votes)
  • 26%
    just a lil’ bit
    (92 votes)
349 votes total Vote Now