Baseball players: they’re just like us. Except richer. And handsomer. And better dressed… okay, okay, I see your point. Please allow me to slightly rephrase.
Baseball players: they’re somewhat like us.
The good news is that I can help you move yourself up one of these scales; the bad news is that it is not the one labeled “handsomeness.” Yes, I’m sad about it too. Come with me and let’s shop away our feelings as we examine some great fashion moments of the Post-Drought Era and attempt to Steal That Look.
Here are some of our boys preparing to leave on a jet plane. Where, you ask? Oh, TO THE PLAYOFFS.
Looking sharp, fellas. #SeaUsRise pic.twitter.com/VKpEdDEICv— Seattle Mariners (@Mariners) October 6, 2022
Is it mean to start with J. P. Crawford, King of Magnetism? Maybe, but now I have your attention. And you’ll have everyone’s attention when you’re sporting his royal blue Versace blazer. You’d rather spend that two and a half grand on Mariners playoff tickets? Yeah, me too. Maybe let’s grab this Topman version instead.
Solid, neutral-color accessories really make the blue pop. Pair yours with a sleek H&M gym bag and classic canvas shoes from PF Flyers.
Man of Mystery Jarred Kelenic smartly paired modern accessories with a classic suit, hopefully the only time we’ll see him in pinstripes. Light blue buttons on his shirt subtly match his blue duffel while his slightly futuristic shades assure us “I’m not like other stockbrokers, I’m a COOL stockbroker.”
Get your own pinstripes from Ralph Lauren or uh, not Ralph Lauren, depending on how much cash is in your proverbial duffel. Jarred sold separately, SORRY YANKEES.
Rumor has it Julio had to make a dash home between Wednesday’s first pitch and takeoff to grab his suit, a classic grey number that seems to reference his All-Star Game red carpet look. Buy yours with some sheen for a little extra star power of your own, or stay classic and understated with a suit that will have a place in your closet for years.
Julio personalizes his suit with some subtle bling: designer shades (Julio has been spotted sporting Prada) and a custom jersey number necklace.
(The real flex here though is the soft serve: the machines on the ballpark concourse have been broken for MONTHS.)
Mariners legend Dan Wilson celebrated on top of the Space Needle in big dad style. His Mariners postseason pullover not only reps the club but is eminently practical for a windy location, and you know there’s no vanity behind his $57 Timex watch. Finish the look with some washable khakis and a classic black Sharpie, bought in a five pack of course for increased value.
Like JP, Carlos Santana zhuzhes up a classic outfit with a well-tailored jacket in a color that pops, but keeps it on the more casual side with a colorblocked trucker from Zara. The pink version is unfortunately sold out, but you can still snag it in timeless indigo. Prefer to stay bold? Try vintage Guess in bright primary colors, luxurious Dolce & Gabbana leopard print, or Louis Vuitton in electric blue. Bright glasses and a vibrant suitcase complete the look.
Pitching coach Pete Woodworth (far left) knows that sometimes for the biggest of moods you only need the basics. If you don’t want anything but the bare minimum to come between you and your partying, all you need is some shiny goggles, shower shoes, and a puffy vest. Besides, who cares what you’re wearing when the vibes are this good?
Happy postseason, fashionistas.