71-62: Chart

Like being jolted from slumber by a unicorn bearing candy corn and coffee.

By Isabelle Minasian@95coffeespoons Aug 31, 2021, 10:30pm PDT

MLB: Houston Astros at Seattle Mariners — High fives for plate discipline!

Being naturally awakened after a restful night’s sleep: Yusei Kikuch (.436 WPA)

Your iPhone alarm clanging a handful of hours after you initially set it: Mitch Haniger (-.157 WPA)