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45-41: Chart

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Mama told me there’d be days like this, because mama also grew up a Mariners fan

MLB: New York Yankees at Seattle Mariners
yeah
Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Barfsicles on a barf stick fresh out of a barfy freezer sold by Mr. Barf Man to a barfy little tune.

New York bagels: Mitch Haniger, .018 WPA (fun fact, every other Mariners batter had a negative WPA except Shed Long (.004)

New York lox: Justus Sheffield - I don’t know, a millionty? WPA