Hello everyone, and especially you, Jarred Kelenic. You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hope and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march—no, that’s too much.
Anyway, here we are, this is it, the big one. The one we’ve been waiting for. The day of day—NO, darn it, that’s too much again.
Jarred Kelenic and Logan Gilbert debut tonight. Good? Good. Let’s go straight to the LINEUPS.
Now let’s go straight to the CAREFULLY CURATED MEDIA QUOTES.
Jarred Kelenic: "As excited as I am to get going with major league career, I'm just as excited for (Logan Gilbert) to start his major league career because that guy has worked extremely hard and he deserves to be here and I know all the fans are going to see that tonight."— Curtis Crabtree (@Curtis_Crabtree) May 13, 2021
Jarred Kelenic on what he saw from Logan Gilbert: "Pure dominance. I think that's the best word to describe it. His outing in Tacoma was spectacular. I think he gave up maybe two hits, and they were jam jobs. ... Tonight I don't expect anything less."— Curtis Crabtree (@Curtis_Crabtree) May 13, 2021
"If he throws me a cookie, I've got to be ready to hit it"— Ryan Divish (@RyanDivish) May 13, 2021
Jarred Kelenic on swinging at the first pitch of the game.
Anyway, that’s about it, smell ya later.