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FanPost Friday: How would you fix the 2021 Seattle Mariners offense?

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Turns out having 3.5 actual hitters in the lineup is not a recipe for sustainable success. Got any bright ideas?

Houston Astros v Seattle Mariners
maybe blow on it like a NES cartridge? i dunno.
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

Welcome back to FanPost Friday. The Mariners need your help, folks. These current Mariners cannot hit. Correction, Ty France, Mitch Haniger, and Kyle Seager can hit quite well. Kyle Lewis looks to be regaining his form as they ease him back into starting everyday after the knee injury he sustained at the end of Spring Training. But, as it turns out, having 3.5 good hitters is not going to help you win a ton of games, nor will it endear you to your hard-working, beleaguered pitching staff.

Literally all of us saw this coming. I mean, look at these poll results from last week’s FPF:

The organization refused to spend any modest amount of money on the bevy of MLB-ready position player talent that was available for non-bank-breaking prices last offseason, choosing to storm ahead with paper-thin margins on key roster spots and I guess completely ignoring the fact that baseball players get injured a lot. Since the team is also committed to “not rushing” any of the top prospects who could likely make a difference at those roster spots, they have been stuck giving shitloads of plate appearances to Sam Haggerty and José Marmoléjos while finding out that Tom Murphy might just be completely washed now and also that Taylor Trammell and Evan White are still quite a ways from Figuring It Out (which should not be completely unexpected). As we saw yesterday when Haniger was under the weather and Lewis needed a rest day, having seven out of nine batters in your lineup be complete offensive black holes makes for nearly unwatchable baseball (saved only by an incredible pitching performance by Yusei Kikuchi, and yes, we’re leaving the rotation and bullpen out of this post).

MLB: Seattle Mariners at Boston Red Sox
“fuuuuuuu-”
David Butler II-USA TODAY Sports

But! There are ways to fix this offense. This team does not have to hit like a wet rag for the remaining five months of the season. It does not have to rely completely on #ChaosBall and on the 3.5 actual professional hitters on the roster to win games now, if some drastic (and not-so-drastic) changes were made. So, my prompt for you:

How would you fix the 2021 Seattle Mariners offense?

Give me your step-by-step plan either in the comments or in a FanPost of your own if you’re feeling inspired and/or ranty. If you were completely in charge:

  • Who would you call up?
  • Who gets sent packing?
  • Who would you try to acquire?

Get as outlandish as you want or stay as rational/realistic as you can, but please, fix this offense! The org doesn’t seem to want to fix it, so it’s all on you—the fans. No pressure, right?