13-12: Chart

Gross. And not the fun kind of gross.

Double Dare: Luis Torrens, +32.5 WPA

Ellen’s Game of Games: Rafael Montero, -.576 WPA

(although like half of that belongs to Evan White and his costly error)

Strikeouts issued by Mariners pitching: 3

Walks issued by Mariners pitching: 4

Strikeouts suffered by Mariners batters: 10

Walks taken by Mariners batters: 2

Number of times I said a swear word out loud during this game: 7

Number of times I rewrote the recap title: 4, and counting