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Mariners hate Mondays, lose to Astros

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Extremely mediocre trombone sound

All credit to Jim Davis and the Garfield comic strip

It’s early days yet. Sure, it’s fun to argue back and forth that “Mitch” Haniger is going to have an All-Star season, or that Evan White is toast, or that Chris Flexen may be the sneaky stalwart of this rotation, but we’re not even a month into real baseball.

To contextualize just how young this season still is, consider this: The Mariners have played just three games on a Monday. They lost in a shutout to the White Sox 6-0, had a planned game in Baltimore postponed due to weather, miraculously beat the Dodgers 4-3 (sources say this was just last week, but this reporter suspects otherwise) and have now lost to the Astros 5-2.

They’ve now lost more Monday games than they’ve won, but the sample size remains miniscule. It would be wild and irresponsible journalism to make any claims like “The Mariners play terribly on Mondays,” or “The Mariners can’t hit on Mondays,” or “The Mariners pitchers are always sluggish on Mondays.” To say nothing of the fact that the fickle MLB schedules pay little heed to such mortal concepts as the seven day week.

That said, the M’s played just about the most Monday game imaginable tonight. Kyle Lewis tried to make things interesting by hitting his first home run of the season in the third, and Kyle Seager tried to apologize for muffing an extremely average grounder by hitting a homer in the sixth, but for the majority of the game the Mariners did their very best Garfield impression.

But hey, they’ll get them next ti-