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Houston Astros v Seattle Mariners
being a Mariners fan is lonely sometimes
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

Blech.

Mariners WPA leader: Chris Flexen, 14.0 WPA added

Mariners WPA loser: every member of the offense not named Evan White

Strikeouts issued by Mariner pitching: 7

Walks issued by Mariner pitching: 1

Strikeouts suffered by Mariner batting: 7

Walks taken by Mariners batters: Zero

Glasses of wine required for Kate to watch this game indoors without ragethrowing the TV and going outside on a beautiful Seattle night: 3