Sometimes I get sad when I think about how many jabronis have come to Seattle and made a mockery of the Mariners franchise. Philip Humber comes to mind. So does Scott Erickson and Mike Bordick in the 1997 ALDS. Or at least, when I say those two come to mind, I mean I looked up players who did well against the M’s in the postseason. I don’t actually remember those idiots at all because I’m famously very young and cherubic.
In looking up the players with the most career hits against Seattle, I was weirdly happy to learn that most of them are pretty well-known or accomplished. There’s a healthy portion of Hall of Famers, lots more Hall of Really Good guys, and nobody that makes me embarrassed to root for the Mariners.
Because some of these fellas played for like half the league, and I was worried their entire list of teams wouldn’t fit on Sporcle, I left out any National League teams if the guy was there before interleague play started. For example, the third person on this list came up with Chicago and was a Cub for three years in the late ‘80s, but that would have made it impossible for him to get any hits against the Mariners during that time. If you really need to see the entire list of teams someone played for, click the link underneath the quiz and take it on Sporcle, where the formatting is much cleaner.
Please do not get mad at me on the computer if you were lightly inconvenienced or confused by this for a few insignificant moments of your life. Love youuuuuu.