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Sporcle Friday: Jack Zduriencik’s Best Acquisitions

More like Jack Z yourself out the door, chief. You’ve actually been fired

Texas Rangers v Seattle Mariners Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

Jack Zduriencik, the Seattle Mariners’ general manager from October 2008 to August 2015, looked like Daddy Warbucks. Instead of teaching red-headed orphans important lessons through the magic of song, he was more into power hitting adults. Mike Morse, Russell Branyan, Mark Trumbo, and Kendrys Morales (twice!) were all identified by Zduriencik as the team’s missing piece to title contention, proving him wrong every time.

Ironically, Zduriencik’s fortunes turned slightly upon the acquisition of two more power hitters. One is among the best power-hitting second basemen of all time; one is a human armory who also played designated hitter.

Of Jack Z’s best procurements, there’s two pairs of guys who came from the same draft, two underrated players that came from the same trade, and the aforementioned colossal free agents that injected the Mariners’ roster with superstar talent. The list is split between seven position players and five pitchers, all of whom racked up at least 5.5 bWAR for the Mariners after being brought in by Zduriencik.

There’s a decent-sized canyon between the first half and the second half, as the top six are straight up some of the best players the Mariners have ever fielded, while the latter six are mostly just reminders of strange periods in the franchise’s history. Good luck piecing together all of the eggs in Jack Z’s dozen best carton, which is defined mostly by southern white boys and a few strokes of providence in the draft.