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21-25: Chart

Mariners win long, sloppy game, take series from objectively bad team

Seattle Mariners v Arizona Diamondbacks
when another boy has a series win
Photo by Norm Hall/Getty Images

If a Marco Gonzales pitched game is the clean, crisp folds of a four-star hotel bed sheets, today’s game was a pilled Star Wars comforter, stained with nacho cheese, balled up at the foot of a college student’s bare mattress. But hey, a win is a win.

A room at the Paris Ritz overlooking the Place Vendome: Jose Marmolejos, .168 WPA

A room at the Paris, TX Motel 6 overlooking the velodrome: Anthony Miseiwicz, -.193 WPA