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FanPost Friday: Poll results and a warning from the future

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Do not seek the treasure

Seattle Mariners Summer Workouts
not pictured: gigantic, menacing doom
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

Hello and welcome back to FanPost Friday! It’s actually summer now, which is good. Julio Rodríguez got hurt. That is bad. The earth continues spinning.

Last week, I ran some polls and I was very pleased by the amount of participation. Turns out LLers, like the rest of the internet, enjoy clicking buttons. I do, too! Let’s take a look at the results.

Y’all were more optimistic than me last week, and I appreciate that. I definitely voted no, but now that we’re a week away from “Opening Day,” it does seem pretty likely that we will have MLB games in 2020. Hope it works out!

Ah, I see many of you are the side of reason and common sense here. Good for you. I would like to believe this will be the case, but I think if the season does start, they’re gonna crank through it come hell or high water. There is probably a threshold where that becomes logistically impossible, but more on that later. Shout out to the “I don’t like this” voters. I see you and I hear you.

In spite of a strong showing from the CHAOS REIGNS/Lars Von Trier fans, cooler heads prevailed yet again. I agree, this roster is not good and I am perfectly content with 15 wins as long as Evan White, J.P. Crawford, Kyle Lewis, etc, all make good development strides. So, in other words, lots of 10-9 losses due to bullpen meltdowns, please. That will be fine.

I was very curious about how this one would turn out. Feels like 10 or less is a pretty good, logical answer. 10 players testing positive for COVID-19 would be pretty devastating, no matter who the players are. Big respect to the Socratic “I don’t know” voters out there. I feel you.

Seattle Mariners Summer Workouts
/pounds table “40! Dingers! 40! Dingers!”
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

I admit that I rigged this one with giving the option of the MarinersWorld Series victory being the event to trigger the end of the world. I know this community all too well. I’m very into the amount of confidence in Taijuan Walker and Kyle Lewis, though. But the winning option here seems to influenced a very good FanPost by btownfritz, so I’m pretty happy with the results.

Without further ado, a warning from the not-too-distant future...

The other day, after coming home from the store, I found a small package sitting on my doorstep. It was a plain box that just simple had “Open immediately” written on it. Not being one to question note on a non-descript box, I did. Inside was a slightly melted and charred USB drive that had just one audio file called “It All Went” dated 10/5/2020 on it. I found that detail to be a bit odd, so I played it, then played it again. There was some interesting information on the file that I think you all should hear.

Below is a transcript of the file:

The Seattle Mariners are World Series Champions! While it may not feel like the most important or likely thing to have ever happened, we are here none the less. A sentence that I never thought I’d be saying other than as a joke, but in this dark time, it can still bring a smile to my face. The Seattle Mariners are World Series Champions. Did they earn it? Well I suppose that depends on who you ask. From this writer’s perspective? Just because no team has ever won the World Series after failing to qualify for the playoffs before, doesn’t mean it can’t now. A simple look back at how we got to this point may just convince you as well.

The season began in late July, exactly as the MLB set out. At the time, coronavirus was the biggest concern for the players, and there were calls almost immediately for the season to jut not happen. Player after player on teams all over the country were testing positive. For the most part it was handled, though not ideal. The calls for ending the season got the loudest here in Seattle when a total of ten players had tested positive. Still the game went on. In the end only 55 of the scheduled 60 games occurred, and we all know what caused that. By the time all was said and done, the Mariners had a record of 20-35. They were last in the league when the season was called just two weeks ago. Now, the only area still able to put up a team is here in the Pacific Northwest. When they were writing, the analysts used to say that “the best ability is availability.” That rings true here today.

It wasn’t just how the season played out that lead to today. There were many standout, unbelievable performances from Mariners players as well. Kyle Lewis started out hot in Summer Camp (the feels years ago now), hitting three home runs in his first 5 plate appearances. This amazing run continued through the season where Lewis hit 41 home runs in just 55 games. Couple that with Daniel Vogelbach hitting a record 6 grand slams, and JP Crawford finding a way to put up an impossible 8 fWAR in just 55 games, and it’s a wonder that this team only cobbled together 20 wins. The only standout pitcher was Taijuan Walker, who put up half the teams wins (10) while posting an ERA of just 1.95. Don’t ask about the rest of the team. 4 MVP candidates all together on the same team gave some of us hope, though in the end, the Mariners Marinered.

I remember before this all happened finding an article asking fans to predict what would happen during the season [presumably this LL Article]. Everything was going well enough until parts of the world slowly started going dark, including several cities on the east coast. Team after team was affected, until the MLB had to just call the season. Seattle last place on earth that is unaffected. Some people were wondering why local officials would spend time to get the Mariners a title, when so much else was happening. Some think it was just an attempt to boost morale, others are upset. While I don’t know their reasoning, there are two things that I do know I can say, even in this dark time. The first is that the Seattle Mariners are World Series Champions. The other is that this all could have been avoided, if we had only known not to le….

[At this point, there seems to be some kind of rumbling in the background followed by an explosion and screaming, then some deep humming and the file abruptly cutting off]

I didn’t recognize the voice and I’m not entirely sure what that last part means, but hey, by early October, it seems that we will be able to say that the Seattle Mariners are World Series Champions! So there’s that.

All right, that’s all for now! Thanks for voting and thanks to btownfritz for the delightfully spooky FanPost. Have a great weekend, LLers.