All right, folks. Grab your pencils. It’s time for the saddest creative writing assignment possible right now.

Prompt: Write your own recap of yesterday’s Mariners home opener versus the Rangers

Here are the projected lineups from yesterday’s opener:

Seattle Times

If you feel like flexing your writing skills and you have the time, make a whole FanPost. I will give you virtual elbow-high-fives and slap your faux-cap on the front page. Or, hit the comments and crowd source the recap, inning by inning, with your fellow LLers. Let’s see what you got! The more absurd, the better.

If you’re not feeling this or want to talk about the re-airing of old Mariners games on ROOT instead, let’s chat about it. Did anyone re-live that 2001 magic last night?

Hang in there and have a good weekend, friends.