Mariners Moose Tracks, 12/6/20: Mitch Haniger, Ryon Healy, RIP Mike Lander

Happy wintry Sunday morning. A fact about me is that, while I recognize lots of people hate it for good reason, winter is my favorite season. The darkness is tough, yes, and it always takes me a while to get used to it being dark outside before I’m even hungry for dinner, but there’s nothing like the stillness of a winter evening, and the smell of the crisp, cold air. Not to sound too much like a Hallmark card, but being inside so much has made me appreciate the quiet hush of a silent world even more. Even if you’re a winter- and darkness-hater, I encourage you to take a solitary stroll one of these evenings and just drink in the quiet. It’s certainly helped me feel more grounded and peaceful.

Also grounding me in peace and tranquility? Reading the daily links posts, of course.

In Mariners news:

• In case you missed it, Mitch Haniger signed his 2021 contract with the Mariners for just a hair over $3M, making it the second-best thing to happen to Mitch Haniger this week:

I am staking an early claim to the 2021 Mitch Haniger Revenge Season and this new bit of Dad Strength can only buoy him further.

If you’re wondering why I’m so high on Haniger in 2021, make sure to check out this podcast where we spoke to his trainer, Austin Einhorn of Apiros Movement.

• In Former Mariners News: lovable lunkhead and erstwhile Mariners first baseman Ryon Healy is headed to the KBO. We had quite a time in the LL Slack when this news broke imagining what hijinks Ryon might get into overseas. Please, Netflix, you greenlight everything, please pay someone with a camera to follow Ryon around. (Also, please MLB Network: air some KBO games next season!)

• In More Former Mariners News: erstwhile Mariners catcher Chris Iannetta has retired. We’ll always have that walk-off win, C.I.
• RIP to actor Mike Lander, who was best known as “Squiggy” on Laverne and Shirley in addition to other minor acting roles, but was also a huge baseball fan (specifically the Pirates) and actually was an associate scout for the Mariners for a while in Southern California.
• Mariners prospect Eric Filia had a solid day for the Estrellas Orientales in LIDOM play yesterday:

Around the League:

• It was a longshot that Jim Crane was ever going to face any kind of legal punishment for the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, but things in Mike Bolsinger’s lawsuit are not off to a great start. Still, one can hope that Crane will get some kind of comeuppance, even if it’s cosmic.
• Marlins prospect Joe Dunand hit a walk-off grand slam for the Leones del Escogido in Saturday’s game. Mariners prospect Joseph Rosa also had a hit in the game, a triple to the gap.

• We’re working up a wishlist for non-tender candidates for the Mariners to sign for early this week, but in the meantime: did you notice that many of the non-tenders came from the AL/NL Central? Jayson Stark at the Athletic did, and he has some thoughts ($).
• I read this tweet and all I can think of is Smithers and Mr. Burns having a money fight. Billionaire corporation vs. billionaire corporations, whooooo will come out on top?

Kate’s Pick:

Today in advertising fails:

I heard “chunderdome” and had to stop what I was doing and check Twitter to make sure that yes, in fact, a company greenlit an ad describing their food as something that is an Australian term for throwing up. I vote we wrest this term away from the language-abusing jerks at Papa John’s (see also: papa-dia) and place it where it belongs: in baseball slang. So, which terrible MLB stadium reigns supreme and shall now be known as the Chunderdome, and why is it Angels Stadium?