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FanPost Friday: The Crowd-Sourced Black Market Mariners Gift Guide

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Let us e-gather to laugh at some bad merch

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Texas Rangers v Seattle Mariners
Wear a mask and maybe we can buy dumb shit here again someday!
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

It’s become a bit of a tradition around here to present a gift guide comprised of the most awful Mariners merchandise available on the internet. Well, we’re going to keep it going this year, but this time, I’m putting the impetus on YOU, the LLer at LLarge.

First, use your best search engine skills to find the worst/weirdest/most nonsensical Mariners items on these here internets, or perhaps dig into your own archives to find the goofiest Mariners related thing you own.

Second, either throw a photo in the comments or write your own FanPost telling us all about it.

Third, ?????

Fourth, profit! (Said profit will be in the form of chuckles from your peers.)

Here’s one to get things started.

Big League Chew(se) something else, bud

Freshly listed on eBay, we’ve got some roughly 29-33 years old Mariners branded chewing gum. Perfect for either the older Millennial or Gen X Yellow S-era completionist in your life or as an awful prank gift for your shithead brother. Either way, these vintage defeat-sticks will surely get a reaction (likely bewilderment bordering on disgust).

All right, sound off in the comments with your roasts of the worst Mariners merch you can find! Happy Friday.