Those without school age kids or those who are not themselves currently in school can blink and miss the markings of that age-old tradition of “back to school.” September rolls up, still feeling like August except just a little colder in the early mornings and with earlier dusks and boom, the kids are back in school. Unless you’re a college kid on the quarter system, then you’re still free until like October somehow. I don’t know, I don’t make the rules.

All this September nonsense got me thinking about this prompt:

If you could send any current Mariners player back to school, what subject or major would you suggest they study?

Yeah, let’s get weird and wild with this one. Should Mallex Smith go study hydroelectricity? What if Daniel Vogelbach studied fine art? Or maybe Tomaso Milone would lean into his Italian heritage and go to culinary school and become the next Massimo Bottura? The possibilities, unlike this nice September weather, are endless.

So, grab your syllabi and hit the books (by that I mean write a FanPost). We’ll front page the best ones over the weekend. Study hard, tank hard, and party responsibly.