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9/5/19: Open Game Thread

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stop. don’t. come back... /willy wonka voice

MLB: Baltimore Orioles at Houston Astros
Orbit (probably farting) in orbit
Thomas B. Shea-USA TODAY Sports

This is great timing for a series with the Houston Astros, which is a sentence I haven’t uttered since probably 2013. But, as Kate mentioned in the series preview, the shitty Rockies are in an absolute free fall 9-game losing streak, so the Mariners will need to choose their wins sparingly for the rest of the season if they want to hang on to that number 6 draft position. I am definitely fiercely attached to that draft spot (or higher!) because I want another top 50 or so prospect in the system for next season and I want ‘em BAD, okay? Okay.

So, Mariners, who are you trotting out tonight at the closed-roof bandbox environs of Minute Maid Park?

Mmmmm, yes, yes, Dylan Moore and Dee Gordon as the lead off and 2-hole hitter, mmmm yes, that will do nicely. Thank you, Mariners. Marco. Hey, Marco, come here, please. Take a knee. I know you’re a gamer. I know you are an actual Gonzaga Bulldog. But, I need you to take the foot off the gas pedal a little, if you know what I mean. You may feel a little sting during the game. That’s pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. You what helps? Top draft picks during a rebuild. A rebuild you’re a part of, my friend. Yeah. You get it, don’t you? Those Jesuits taught you well. All right, good talk.

Game time: 5:05 PM

TV: ROOT Sports Northwest

Radio: 710 ESPN, MLB At Bat