Happy Halloween! Wait, no? It’s only the middle of September? The baseball season is not yet over? Huh. Well consider today a sneak preview of Halloween, then, because it is both Friday the 13th AND a full moon. WoooOOOOOooo spooky. (Apologies if the thread is late, I spent a long time in the photo tool looking at Getty archival pictures tagged “Halloween” and “full moon,” so many of which could have gotten me so, so fired as a header photo. Diane Arbus ain’t got nothin’ on the Getty Archival library.)
After taking a surprising series win from the Reds borne aloft on the wings of Kyle Lewis, the Mariners will face yet another team that’s not very good, but also theoretically better than them. The White Sox have a better record than the Mariners, but as we saw in the series preview, the Mariners are somehow... favored?? in every game???? Someone call NASA, this math does not check out.
I feel very churlish for saying this, but sweeping the White Sox could knock the Mariners well down the draft sweepstakes, since everyone else has decided to suck out loud down the stretch. The Pirates have been the best of the sad used-car lot of the bottom third in MLB, but they got shellacked by the Cubs today, 17-8. The Royals are en route to being Weekend at Berniesed by the Astros, the Orioles and Tigers are fighting each other with soggy baguettes instead of baseball bats, the Marlins might as well be playing actual Giants, and the Rockies are playing the Padres, who are only a little better than them, but Colorado is committing to the role of Tank Artist like they come from the Stanislavski school of suck. The other day a former FanGraphs writer and now CBS writer expressed some surprise over the backlash a CBS sports tweet received from Mariners fans suggesting a no-hitter against the Mariners “wouldn’t even count.” Don’t they know their team is terrible? he mused. Well yes, we do, but [gestures in general direction of above paragraph]. Stop messing with my Jared Kelley/Robert Hassell/Austin Martin dreams, other teams!
There is enough Talent of the Future in this lineup that I am going to have to suck it up and hope for a win (also for all the doughty folks out at the ballpark tonight, who deserve some fun). Here’s what I would like to see: Yusei Kikuchi throwing strikes, Kyle Lewis continuing to hit the ball hard, J.P. Crawford gliding around the field looking 100% healed and healthy otherwise get him out of there what are you even doing, and Donnie Walton coming into the game in the fourth inning. And then the bullpen giving up a late lead I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m trying to delete it. (Note: because the 2019 Mariners are oppositional-defiant, what will probably happen is a Dee Gordon grand slam, Austin Nola stealing home, and Omar Narvaez bunting for a walkoff win.)
Game time: 7:10 PM PT, on all your regular bat-channels.
Oh! Speaking of the White Sox, this week’s FanPulse question was about which team is going to win the AL Central. Relevant! I’m not writing this one up, since it’s essentially a two-team race, but will rather compile it into a later article, but here’s a sneak peek:
The Twins’ pitching frightens me a little, and I could see Cleveland making a late push after getting their offense beefed up by dinger-smacking giant Franmil Reyes, but I tend to agree with these results. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, Nelson Cruz forever.