58-80: Chart

This one was, well, not in doubt for most of the game.

Kyle Seager hitting in Globe Life Park: Vogey! .128 WPA

Honorable mention to Tim Lopes, who had three hits today, and continues to be a credible-looking MLB player.

Kyle Seager hitting the dance floor: Kyle Seager? -.062

Look, technically Kyle did go 0-for-3 with three strikeouts (and an anticlimactic walk), but he also hit a three-run tank shot 420 feet to the second deck. Kyle Seager: the cause of, and solution to, all the Mariners’ offensive problems today.

Moment of the game: