It began with low expectations, especially among those closest to me.
I went overseas and somehow didn’t embarrass myself.
Huge boost of confidence from being abroad led me to telling everyone that, “I’ve changed. I think I’m going to surprise you, I really do.”
My mom starts telling her friends I’m going to be very successful. They are skeptical.
Friends and family begin to discuss me at social events.
I start imagining what my life would be like if I had a parrot.
The words Dinger and Dongs enter my vocabulary and everyone is weirdly comfortable with it.
People keep saying I’m successful “for my age.”
“Elevate and Celebrate.”
I strike out in downtown Seattle more than anyone would think possible.
I begin to realize I have no ability to close.
Most relationships last the length of a homestand.
Everyone uses the word Regression when discussing my behavior.
I keep having to remind everyone that I don’t have any money.
My friends move to other states and become successful.
My body is suddenly riddled with injuries after performing routine tasks.
I keep insisting that next year is going to be my year. Or maybe the year after that.
Nights of shame start to blur together until I lose the ability to feel embarrassed.
At a certain point I just start talking about how cool I was in the ‘90s.