FanPost

Dingerz Paradise

Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Hello, it's been awhile since I dropped a fresh song parody. For some of you who know my history it used to be a regular occurrence. Well life gets in the way, yada yada.

But then we had this off-day after the last two games, two games in which we were outscored 29-2 and where the defense made I think 439 errors. What's worse with yesterday's game of course was the absence of any dingers, even in the losing cause.

So this time, I figure, lives and dies on the dingerz. And just like Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise, there's fame and glory with dingers, but also the reality of DingerLife. You live by the dingerz, you die by the dingerz.

So for those of you who've never heard one, these are pretty bad song parodies with minimal production effort (recorded on my Iphone using Voice Memo app) in my office/kitchen. The lyrics are posted here and the link is posted here:

3.5 minutes you'll definitely regret

As I walk round the bases and they’re cheering my name
I take a look at the pitcher, and realize he’s very lame
Cuz I’ve been blastin’ and bloopin’ so long, that
Even the casual fan can tell when balls are gone
But I ain’t never crossed a pitcher that didn’t deserve it
Ain’t made playoffs in 17 years you know that’s unheard of
You better watch how you’re pitchin and your locatin
Or you’ll see some homers and some batters skatin’
I know you hate my flip, but my bat is woke
As you choke I see myself in the dust and smoke, FOOL
I’m the kinda batter little pitchers hate to see
It doesn’t matter, what they throw I gonna make them all know

Been spending most our lives living in a Dingerz Paradise
It’s a shame when the pitcher cries …
Back to back means it happens twice …
We like when the ball just flies …

The defense situation, they got some errors
We can’t play a normal game, but nobody gonna care
So I gotta be down with the whole team
That includes the defense, pitching, the whole scene
I’m a power-hitting fool with dingers on my mind
Got my bat in my hand and a discerning eye
I’m a high on-base percentage trippin banger
And my homers is down, so don’t you pitch a hanger, FOOL

Fielding ain’t nothin make a dumb play
I’m hitting dingers do or die what can I say
In first place but oops, how low will we go
The way the bats go cold, I don’t know

Tell me why we feast on some pitchers free
Then we can’t buy a run, and the ball we can’t see

Been spending most our lives living in a Dingerz Paradise
It’s a shame when the pitcher cries …
Back to back means it happens twice …
We like when the ball just flies …


Batters hitting dingers
Dingers hit by batters
Inning after inning
Winning doesn’t matter
Everybody’s trotting, but striking out too often
What’s going on with our pitching, now our lead starts to soften
They say control the zone but sometimes the zone controls me
If their team’s over five hundred, they’re prolly gonna roll me
I guess the slider
I guess the heat
I guess the curve
Some days I know I’m out of luck fool

Been spending most our lives living in a Dingerz Paradise
It’s a shame when the pitcher cries …
Back to back means it happens twice …
We like when the ball just flies …