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What was Denard Span reading while he rounded third base on Monday?

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A chilling exposé on the so-called veteran leadership of Seattle’s left fielder.

MLB / ROOT

Much has been made of the value Denard Span brings to the Mariners with his extensive experience and patient offensive profile. He is a noted humanitarian, a well-regarded family man, and photogenic enough for the poster of a Louis Leterrier film.

A little intensity ain’t never hurt nobody #bigwintonight

A post shared by @ denardspan on

But in the 6th inning of Monday night’s game, Span’s mind appeared to be far from the field, throwing into question his dedication to the team and the game at hand. With two outs, Jean Segura stood at second base, with Span on first, the two having notched Seattle’s first two hits of the game off Houston ace Gerrit Cole. Nelson Cruz stood at the plate, and jumped on the first pitch of the at-bat and laced a ball 110+ mph towards the left-field corner.

As the camera pans from the ball’s ricochet off the outcropping of seats to the baserunners, we catch our first glimpse of Span.

Nothing suspicious... yet
Baseball.Theater / MLB / ROOT

He’s rounding second with pace, but we lose sight of his journey soon afterwards. While it seems innocuous enough now, keep an eye on Span’s left hand, with one finger curiously out in a fashion potentially replicating the uncommon but efficient B-Fist hand position.

We soon learn Span’s mind is hardly so focused.

As he rounds third, the ball is on its way. Span’s wide turn has rendered his route somewhat inefficient. Much like texting while driving can lead a driver to drift out of their lane, Span’s path to home seems less than linear. To make matters worse, he unbuckles his seatbelt in the process.

A lidless dash.
MLB/ROOT

As Span draws closer to home the evidence of his multi-tasking is highlighted. What could have been passed off as a trick of the light is suddenly in focus: what is that in his left hand? Gerrit Cole wants to know.

Ayyyy I’m givin up the lead here!
MLB/ROOT

The initial assumption was that Span had a batting glove in his hand. At least one glove is clearly clenched in his right fist, as is the habit of many players. Span himself is inconsistent in his glove-wearing predilections. Earlier this year he stole a base with a glove on his right hand and his left naked as the day he came.

MLB/Baseball.Theater

Yet nary a month prior, Span hid his hands with both gloves amidst a steal in Chicago!

MLB/The White Sox’ sorry asses

Span’s inconstant nature as it pertains to his gauntlets is almost enough of a smokescreen to throw us off the scent, but as the old adage goes: “Do not what you think won’t show, for all’s revealed by Premera SuperMo.”

WHAT’CHA GOT THERE, DENARD?
MLB/ROOT

A man caught in the act. Not only is Span’s second batting glove clearly held within his right hand, his left contains what appears to be an index card of some sort. Thanks to an exclusive camera angle acquired by LLTV Producer Tee Miller, as Span crossed the plate we were able to identify the card itself, and the shameful distraction it provided.

A baseball crime done for dadly reasons is a baseball crime nonetheless.
Tee Miller / MLB / ROOT

Dangit Denard. Be a responsible, slightly self-conscious dad on your own time. We’ll see you in kangaroo court, pops.