Hello. Like Homer Simpson eating donuts, you are here to consume more baseball. All the Mariners’ shiny new players are here and in uniform, though they have not yet completed the inevitable waiver trade for Jordan Zimmermann and I—[earpiece buzzes] he’s owed how much money? OK yeah this is what you got, Mariners, let’s ride.
Cameron Maybin literally woke up yesterday morning a Marlin and landed in Seattle at midnight to get with his new team. Fun! I like him. I hope he’s good. The Mariners also reshuffle their batting order a bit, putting Cruz in at third, Haniger at cleanup. Kyle Seager will be back from paternity leave tomorrow. I feel for him and his wife; leaving your three day old is rough under any circumstance. I also feel for Dallas Keuchel, who’s about to get roughed up by a fearsome Mariners lineup. Or something.