Happy Friday! If you didn’t see this late-breaking story from Thursday afternoon, please take a gander.

Phenomenal, right? On the long, long list of Ichiro Suzuki hi-jinks and tall tales, this already skyrockets into the top ten for me.

LL’s resident graphics guru Tee Miller already created this masterpiece:

So with that, I’ve got a very fan fiction-friendly prompt for you all this week.

Prompt: What does Ichiro do when he’s not sneaking into the dugout?

So after batting practice and the start of the game, Ichiro is technically not allowed in the dugout during the game unless he is filling in as a bench coach. Yet, as we all know, he emerges at the end of every game, particularly wins, and joins the high-five procession on field still in full uniform with batting gloves on. Aside from donning a mustache and sneaking into the dugout for a inning occasionally, what does he do while the game is being played? Where does he go? What crimes are being solved? What mysteries are being unlocked?

Go nuts, folks. Get creative. As always, we’ll front page the best submissions over the weekend.

Ichiro Forever.