Hello gang. The Baseball Club of Seattle, L.P., faces off tonight against Angels Baseball, LP. The winner gets one shiny win to place carefully in their trophy cabinet. Some say the Mariners are less favored in this game because they are starting a Wade LeBlanc. Those people are fools. I will be polite and give the Angels’ lineup first:

Oh, also, they got Jabari Blash back. Whatever. The Angels’ top four hitters (lineup order) have produced a 127 wRC+ and 7.3 fWAR this year. Other than Trout, those guys have produced a 103 wRC+ and 2.4 fWAR. Yikes! The Mariners’ top 4 have produced a 120 wRC+ and 5.4 fWAR. Mostly I’m saying all this to remind you that Mike Trout is absolutely bonkers, bananas, insane, blah blah. He’s really, really good. Also, why are they still batting Pujols fourth?

Exactly the lineup you expect for the Mariners at this point. I think we should start waving Spanish flags for Denard Span home runs. Span goes yard.. Span...yard... get it? Yes? OK, yes, I’ll leave peacefully, no need to call the police, OW, FINE, I’M GOING, THESE TOMATOES SHOULD HAVE BEEN USED DAYS AGO

MEDIA

TV: Root Sports, MLB.tv

Radio: 710 ESPN, mlb.com, tunein radio

Internet: mlb.com gameday

First Pitch: 7:10 PT

I will be on my back patio with a beer and a radio. Join me. In spirit.