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This week Kate and John are joined by staff writer Matthew Roberson, who—shameless plug alert!—tells jokes in a stand-up capacity, and will tell them in your general direction if you are so inclined. Just tweet him (@mroberson22) if you’re interested in hearing some jokes.
0:00 - 6:00: For some reason we spend a lot of time talking about the Utah Jazz, and invent a player named Arvin Harmonica, including giving him player characteristics and a nickname. Sweet cross-stitched croissants, we need pro basketball back in Seattle. We also talk some baseball because apparently this is a baseball podcast, starting with the Jean Segura trade. We remark upon the fact that the entire back end of the 2018 Mariners bullpen is exploded with fire, and try to make the best of it. John is looking forward to seeing promising young arm Joey Gerber rocket through the system; Kate is excited to see Matt Festa and his high socks throw a bunch of relief innings and crossing her fingers Art Warren doesn’t get snatched up in the Rule 5 draft; Matthew is ready to see new-ish Mariner Sam Tuivailala rebound and then summarily get traded, because he apparently hates fun and doesn’t want to see Tui installed as closer with the attendant song Fu-gee-la.
6:00 - 18:00: Hey, wow, Carlos Santana is a Mariner*, as is J.P. Crawford. We discuss what J.P. Crawford might bring to the club, why he might have struggled in Philly, and John reports on what he’s seen from an exhaustive study of J.P. Crawford’s errors.
18:00 - 23:00 Oh yeah, Carlos Santana is a Mariner.* We discuss a possible return for Santana, who will clearly never be a Seattle Mariner. By the time this pod drops, obviously Dipoto has made the infamous hospital bed trade, so you can skip over a lot of this, as we dream about what a possible Carlos Santana return could bring and limit ourselves to actual humans instead of a draft pick, because we’re playing checkers and Jerry is playing chess. But you should listen to this part anyway, because John is bad at parsing people’s twitter handles and it leads to the accidental discovery of a new drug. We’re like Alexander Fleming over here, people. Also if you skip this part you will an opportunity to play the Lookout Landing Drinking Game: Kate Bemoans the Nick Rumbelow Trade.
*technically true at the time of the podcast
23:00 - 39:00: A switch into general Prospect Talk with a heavy dose of Jarred Kelenic, the shiniest newest toy in the farm system. Kate references the latest Ringer article about how trading for prospects is bad, actually (and misattributes the article to Ben Lindbergh, sorry Ben). Matthew contributes his prospect expertise, in the way of scouting Jarred Kelenic’s twitter, and the crew creates an interest for Jarred Kelenic, á lá Mike Trout’s love of weather, since he appears not to have any. There’s also a brief moment of dreaming on the West Virginia Power outfield, and a brief preview/thought-experiment regarding Tacoma’s roster.
39:00 - 48:00: (Awkward transition because a bunch of extra thought about Carlos Santana had to get cut out)...Kikuchi! The gang talks about the possibility of a Yusei Kikuchi signing, and Matthew and Kate subject John to their rendition of “Kikuchi” to the tune of “Shipoopi” from the Music Man. John tries to sway Kate and Matthew to #TeamSignYusei, and almost succeeds, but at least leads Matthew to use the phrase “hear both sides” unironically.
48:00 - 1:00:00: Speaking of hearing both sides, the next topic is the pros and cons of trading Mitch Haniger, and the discussion remains mostly civil, although John does a mild impersonation of an outraged-but-maintaining-his-composure-because-it’s-a-reelection-year Senator. Matthew, who cannot help himself, spends time talking about the objectively bad movie Celtic Pride.
From here, the conversation flows into the general outlook for the 2019 Mariners, who will be in a race to the bottom of the AL West with the Rangers, but probably not outrageously sucky enough to contend with the true kings of crumminess in the Tigers, Orioles, etc. Kate ponders why the Angels’ “rebuild on the fly” is being predicted to work whereas the Mariners’ attempt to do the same was largely panned, and wonders if that’s the Mike Trout factor alone, while Matthew has his own conspiracy theory with its own set of signature ears.
1:07:00 - end: Questions! We talk Edgar Hall of Fame, How to Love a Jay Bruce, favorite prospects (we don’t all say JULIOOOOOOOOO even though we want to), the best Christmas movie, and which suffering film protagonist best encapsulates the Mariners: Tyler Durden from Fight Club, Andy Dufresne from The Shawshank Redemption, or Christopher Gardner from the Pursuit of Happyness. Also, right as we’re ready to end, Matthew comes and blows everything up with the take that Christmas music is terrible
Music: Blackalicious - Toy Jackpot; Sufjan Stevens - Christmas in the Room
Note: If you’re searching for the podcast to subscribe (and we would love it if you did) please be aware that it is listed as simply “Lookout Landing” and not “Lookout Landing 2.0” which is understandably confusing. We’re sorry.