After a long hiatus, we back baby! John is busy with other things this week so Kate is joined by staff writer Matthew Roberson to go over all the news...and boy, is there a lot of news.
0 - 13:00: After wasting as much time as possible talking about gyms, Kate and Matthew dive right into the major news of the Mariners’ off-season: Dr. Lorena Martin’s accusations of racism and sexism against the Mariners. Kate explores her feelings of betrayal and sadness regarding the situation, Matthew points out that no one will come out of this situation looking good, and both come down firmly on the side that the proper amount of racism to be in order to keep one’s job is “none.”
13:00 - 20:00: New stadium naming rights for the pending T-Mobile Park. Matthew pre-emptively cancels all “bad Servais” jokes and offers to workshop new ones, and converts Kate to accepting an all-magenta park might not be so bad. Also there is a brief catching-up on Mariners playing in Winter League ball, including Ian Miller’s exciting play for the Tomateros de Culiacán.
20:00 - 44:00: Trades-a-palooza. Kate examines the wisdom of trading one of the best defensive catchers in baseball for...not a catcher, and Matthew runs down the available free agent catchers, and discusses the weird roommate situation the Mariners seem to have with the Rays. Moving to the Paxton trade, Matthew bemoans Justus Sheffield as the first Mariner who will be younger than him, while appreciating the proprietary #AssFat hashtag. There’s some retrospective Paxton appreciation, and also some Mark Canha trashing, because that is Matthew’s #brand.
44:00 - 1:00: Trade rumors time! Kate and Matthew rebrand the Mariners’ “fire sale” as a “smoke sale” or a “heat-induced bazaar” and spend some time roasting the Mets trade scenario that’s been making the rounds on Twitter. Kate talks about a possible landing spot for Canó, and Matthew brings up some of the Cardinals trade rumors.
1:00 - end: Questions! Kate and Matthew gaze into their crystal balls and try to predict who the next Mariner to be traded will be, if we trust this FO with a rebuild, how we feel about spending money on the franchise right now and how the Mariners have to work to earn the Seattle fan-dollar. In more fun news, there is some JULIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO discussion to offset all the sad, bad Mariners feels. Also, Kate sprinkles in some bonus live scouting of seeing Evan White in the AFL, and complains about Art Warren not being added to the 40-man. Matthew then walks us down the road of 90s/early 00s hip-hop, and the duo discuss what alcohol best pairs with the crushing misery of this off-season, and come up with new slogans for the 2019 Mariners.
Music: J-Kwon, “Tipsy”; Nas, “Halftime”; Tribe Called Quest, “Award Tour”
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