Angels Host Mariners for End of Season Party, Turn Out to be Rude Hosts

The Mariners are throwing a going away party, which kicked off tonight! No one likes to party in the cold and the rain, so they asked their friends, the Angels, to host the party. How Angelic of them, right? Hahaha, WRONG! The Angels pretended to be friendly, welcoming, hosts; however, that proved to be nothing but deceit in the end.

Mike Trout, being the polite young star that he is, offered start the soiree, launching a waste high changeup over the centerfield wall for his 200th career home run.

Nelson Cruz and Kyle Seager graciously thanked Trout for his tutorial, and put their learning to practice in the fourth inning, crushing back-to-back dingers to earn a 2-1 lead.

The Mariners bats stayed hot for the next couple innings, scoring in both the sixth and fifth innings. Jean Segura tallied one of his three hits in the fifth inning and would later steal second, allowing Robinson Cano to knock him in with a single to left.

In the next inning, the hosting Angels would offer a fastball over the heart of the plate to Mike Zunino. Big Mike took advantage of this gift, and extended the Mariners lead to 5-2.

After Marco Gonzales worked through the order twice, the Mariners bullpen showed up to the party. They brought a piñata, and let the Angels take turns trying to knock out all the candy. Ryan Garton, James Pazos, and Emilio Pagan took turns pulling the string on the piñata, generating numerous whiffs from their baffled hosts.

To this point in the party, the Mariners were having a blast. The Angels seemed to be cordial hosts, giving Seattle a lead that felt secure. We would soon find out the whole thing was a trap.

The one peaceful players of Anaheim (or of Los Angeles of Anaheim?) quickly turned to brutish bullies. Mike Trout stepped up to the piñata, with Nick Vincent as the operator, and caused a candy blasted a big whole in the side with one swing of the bat.

Vincent managed to record two outs, with an Albert Pujols double in between, before giving up an RBI single to CJ Cron.

Marc Rzepcienski entered the game with just a one run lead, and gave up a single to Kole Calhoun. At this point the piñata was held together by a thread.

The Mariners called on Edwin Diaz to attempt a four-out save with runners on the corners. Not on Mariner crusher Luis Valbuena’s watch. Bat in hand, he put a murderous swing on Seattle’s piñata that initiated a candy explosion. This wasn’t good candy though. It was old, stale, sugar-free candy.

The Mariners will have two chances for revenge before their going away party comes to an end on Sunday.

Go M’s.