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58-56: Chart

Mariners move into playoff position, fans all die of stress, nobody left to enjoy it

By Zach Gottschalk
never change
Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Winning while losing all of your fingernails and most of your hair: Leonys Martin (0.387 WPA)

Wining comfortably: Ariel Miranda (-0.350 WPA)

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