Oh my stars and garters, it is Friday. You made it. I finally saw “Baby Driver” last night. It was delightful. Onto the links!

In Mariners news...

• Both Robinson Cano (hamstring) and Guillermo Heredia (forearm) are currently listed as day-to-day (aren’t we all), but we should get updates on both injuries at some point today.
• Hey, guess who has a good outfield? THESE GUYS.
• A friendly reminder that this weekend is (explosions, dance hall horn blasts) P-P-P-P-P-PLAYERS WEEKEND. I have to make a note here that I have seen the jerseys in person and the sleeve color does indeed match the hideous hats. The color in the image the team has been using is off for some reason. So I redact my statements in this piece about the sleeves not matching. I’ve also seen those hats in person and......

In Mariners minors news...

• Rainiers got smashed:

Mike Marjama provided the team’s lone offense with a solo HR, his 3rd since joining the Rainiers. He now has ¹⁄₃ the number of homers as a Rainier as he had this year with Durham (9) in 17% of the plate appearances.

Also the blowout brought us the joy of Dean Kiekhefer, center fielder (?), and Zach Shank, pitcher, who worked a scoreless inning and even broke out this sick sidearm motion to get a swinging K:

• Travelers won!

Ryan Casteel had two home runs, both oppo shots, and the second one went very far, and left the park in such a hurry the poor Travs video person couldn’t find it:

• Nuts lose in extras:

• Lumberkings won!

• AquaSox lost:

Around baseball....

• Some wild ass shit right here:

• Things got even dumber from there:

So yeah, the benches cleared a total of THREE times. Here’s the full rundown. Good times. Maybe the Mariners will be able to take advantage of some sore players/egos/possible suspensions in their series against the Yankees this weekend.

• The research continues on the home run surge/juiced balls theory. There’s, uh, a lot of math here that I won’t pretend to understand, but check it out:

• Rangers to do some tinkering:

• Eno Sarris has advice for power hitters.
• Jon Heyman on the recent firings by the Astros.

Eric’s pick!

• If you’re not following Sung Min Kim on Twitter, you are missing out on occasional rays of pure, unadulterated sunshine like this:

Did you know Hector Noesi pitches in KBO now? You do now. And that’s our boy, THE Big Boy, punishing his sorry ass. I’m unable to figure out what the count was per Google, but let’s just assume it was 0-2. Oh no, Google wormhole, shit, nooooo, I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying (miss you, Dae-Ho).