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Tampa Bay makes it interesting, but the Mariners hold on to win 7-6

MLB: Seattle Mariners at Tampa Bay Rays
so far so good
Reinhold Matay-USA TODAY Sports

Holding a dope-ass lizard: Mitch Haniger, .256 WPA

Being scolded by a doped-up wizard: Emilio Pagán, -.120 WPA

Gold star awarded to: Ariel Miranda, for only giving up one home run, and not until the sixth inning. Progress! (Bonus: he only issued one walk!)

Platinum, diamond-encrusted star covered in all our love and gratitude: Nelson Cruz, 2-4 with a 2-run HR; now has 100 RBIs for the season, more than his 44- HR season. We love you forever, Nelson.

  • Programming note: the recap will be along in a while. It’s my nephew’s birthday party and I must go for at least a little while because apparently kids only turn one once?