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The Mariners most certainly did not win their baseball game

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Not even a little bit.

Seattle Mariners v Kansas City Royals Photo by Ed Zurga/Getty Images

Before we dive in, let us address a few things.

First off, there is still a lot of baseball left to play. Three games in August isn’t going to end your season. It will set you back. Tony Larussa will write a book about it. It won’t, however, be the finishing blow that sends you spiraling into the long, cold offseason. No, that blow doesn’t happen until Game 161 against the Oakland Athletics IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING A VERY DRAMATIC NELSON CRUZ HOME RUN.

Secondly, oh my goodness the ceremony for Edgar Martinez was wonderful. What a human being. What a career. What a legend. What a ceremony.

Thirdly, this team is so very hurt and so very tired and the fact that they’ve even made it this far is a pretty incredible thing when you think about it. The rotation is full of sticks, stones, and broken bones and yet this weird group of weirdos managed to win half of their games thus far. Maybe, just maybe, they can find a way to fight back against the forces of nature and theories of common sense and win 25-ish more games this season. I will be rooting for them.

Okay, cool. All of that is now out of the way. I suppose it’s time to GET ANGRY AND SMASH EVERYTHING BECAUSE THE MARINERS JUST LOST THREE IN A ROW TO THE LOS ANGELES FREAKING ANGELS, WHO ARE NOW THE SOLE POSSESSORS OF THE SECOND WILD CARD SPOT.

The Mariners took a 3-1 lead into the seventh inning thanks to six strong innings from Erasmo Ramirez. The little engine that could surrendered just three hits and an unearned run. Nelson Cruz and Kyle Seager delivered RBI singles. Seager added one more with a solo blast in the fifth. The first two-thirds of the game was actually pretty fun!

THEN EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENED

Luis Valbuena hit a two-run dinger in the seventh to tie it because of course Luis Valbuena hit a two-run dinger in the seventh to tie it.

Yonder Alonso attempted to score from first on a Robinson Cano double and was thrown out by such a great distance that, had a piece of spherical-shaped matter spanning said distance between Alonso and home plate existed, scientists might have classified it as our ninth planet.

Tony Zych came in the next inning and walked the leadoff hitter (Revere) and then walked the second hitter (Trout) and then gave up a two-run double to the third hitter (Pujols) and then a single to the fourth hitter (Calhoun) and then a sac fly to the next hitter (Simmons). That is a 6-3 Angels lead for those keeping score at home.

The Mariners would go quietly into the night, picking up only a couple singles the rest of the way. They did not win. They most certainly did not win.

A's v Mariners Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

What. A. Weekend.

Now, here’s more from angry Mariners history because, I don’t know, why not?

Angel Pena #36...
Mariners V Angels

Okay, I feel better. Go, Mariners. Are you kidding me, Mariners? Fight on, Mariners. Why do you do this, Mariners? I’m trying so very hard, Mariners.