It’s here. Some of you have looked forward to this day, others, with the cold, brittle sense of inevitability that hangs over the 2017 Seattle Mariners. It’s Erasmo Day.
Tonight Erasmo Ramirez will become the 33rd pitcher the Mariners have used this season; a club record. Honestly, the fact that they’re still hanging in there at around .500 is amazing. I’d list off some of the names, but the fact is we’ve invoked them so often (RIP Kid Pitcher Ryan Weber), we basically know them all. You know Bergy and Sammy and Whalen and Andrew. Dillon and Heston and De Jong and Casey(s).
But will you recall...the most old-friendiest of them all?
Erasmo the Right-Handed Pitcher/His FIP is okay/With just a little dinger problem/that maybe Safeco makes go away?
I’ve spent the last 48 hours trying to convince myself that having Erasmo back is actually Fine. Videos like this are helping:
If nothing else, admire the irony of Erasmo Ramirez wearing 31, last worn by the very man he was traded for. I hope they only have one size in 31 and Erasmo has to wear Cishek’s actual jersey with the name hastily scribbled over on the back. It seems like, at this point in the season, we should at least get this visual, of a hamburger trying to wear a hot dog’s bun.
As for the Rangers, they are not starting Yu Darvish, who was, in case you didn’t hear, traded. Instead they are starting Nick Martinez, who is decidedly not Yu Darvish. Martinez currently has an FIP of 5.86 and is running an impossibly bad HR/FB% of almost 18%. Kyle Seager has faced him 11 times and is hitting .636 off him. Please, Mariners. The Rangers are starting a 29-year-old at catcher who has spent all or part of the last four seasons at Triple-A. Please do this thing.
Segura gets the day off so “Wheels” Espinosa really has a chance to shine on the basepaths. Here are some fun facts about Danny Espinosa: in his three games played as a Mariner, he has as many hits (1) as he did in his last 9 games as an Angel and as many stolen bases (1) as he did in his last 21 games of being an Angel. Season turnaround, here we go! Why not? Baseball is weird.
Game time: 5:05 PST on ROOT and on 710 ESPN; also on MLB.tv if you’re stuck at your desk for another hour (boooo).