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It’s home run derby time, y’all.
On this particularly pleasant Monday night, we’ll all be treated to the finest display of power-hitting, Gatorade-chugging, horde-based fly ball-catching baseball we’ll see all year. The 2017 MLB Home Run Derby is here, complete with the Marlins Park home run sculpture and all.
Here are your contestants:
#8 Seed – Gary Sanchez, New York Yankees
How many dingers?: 13
Just 13? Why is he here?: It was all part of a personal attack on Logan Morrison. Major League Baseball and their undying love for the pinstripes can not and will not be stopped.
vs
#1 Seed – Giancarlo Stanton, Miami Marlins
How many dingers?: 26
Why is he the number one seed?: Looks like Hercules, swings like Ruth-cules
#7 Seed – Justin Bour, Miami Marlins
How many dingers?: 20
Why is something named ‘Justin Bour’ competing in the HRD?: He is a future Yankee, probably (but also he’s been very gooooooood)
vs
#2 Seed – Aaron Judge, New York Yankees
How many dingers?: 30
What in the hell: I know it sounds impressive, but my friend Dallas also managed to out-homer Judge in the same league his senior year of high school so who is the real hero here?
#6 Seed – Charlie Blackmon, Colorado Rockies
How many dingers?: 20
Coors: Oh, hush
vs
#3 Seed – Cody Bellinger, Los Angeles Dodgers
How many dingers?: 25
Well that’s not bad: In 70 games...
Holy...
#5 Seed – Miguel Sano, Minnesota Twins
How many dingers?: 21
I refuse to believe the Twins have an exciting player: Same
vs
#4 Seed – Mike Moustakas, Kansas City Royals
How many dingers?: 25
Is he better than Hosmer: Jim Leyland will fight you.
Time: 5 p.m. PDT
TV: ESPN
Stream: WatchESPN/ESPN app
Poll: For honesty’s sake, this poll will be closing shortly after the derby starts. Guess away!
Poll
Who wins?
This poll is closed
-
42%
Giancarlo Stanton
(24 votes) -
26%
Aaron Judge
(15 votes) -
12%
Cody Bellinger
(7 votes) -
3%
Mike Moustakas
(2 votes) -
10%
Miguel Sano
(6 votes) -
0%
Charlie Blackmon
(0 votes) -
0%
Justin Bour
(0 votes) -
3%
Gary Sanchez
(2 votes)