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Mariners Moose Tracks, 6/28/17: Drew Smyly, Andrew Moore, and Wally Backman

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Wally Backman Photo by T.G. Higgins/Getty Images

Good morning, folks. It’s Eric. That was a dumb loss last night. Stop being dumb, Mariners. But, hey, Happy Felix Day to you and yours. The team’s Sisyphean task of getting to .500 begins anew and here are your links to get ready for it.

In Mariners news...

  • Well, this is pretty sub-optimal:

A few more details here. Drew Smyly never throwing an inning for the Mariners in 2017 would be very on-brand.

  • In Orioles farm system news, Jesus Montero looks to be out of a job :(

In Mariners minor league news...

  • Everett AquaSox lost a wild one:
  • Clinton Lumberkings got walked off, must abdicate throne of lumber:
  • Modesto Nuts beat the...Visalia Rawhide? Nuts on Rawhide, got it, cool:

...that hashtag, though 0__0

  • The Travelers of Arkansas won big:
  • And finally, the Tacoma Rainiers lost a close one, but Andrew Moore stayed in fightin’ shape and Steven Baron is basically Kevin Costner in “Bull Durham” at this point:

Around the league...

  • Thought provoking stuff here on the gender divide in baseball:
  • On that note, the Mariners made an announcement yesterday for their own progressive-minded “Celebrating Women in Baseball” event on August 15, featuring aLLum Meg Rowley, the most excellent Shannon Drayer, and more:

Eric’s pick!

  • This is taken from a 2010 independent documentary series on minor league baseball called “Playing for Peanuts,” but this clip is new to me as it came across my Twitter feed two days ago and I can’t stop laughing at it. Manager and former New York Mets player Wally Backman goes absolutely nuclear after being ejected from a game and he is directly miked the entire time. Below is basically the best part, but here is a link to the whole ordeal so you’ll have the context. If MLB makes all managers wear mics during games, I will drop all support for robot umpires. Deal? (NSFW LANGUAGE WARNING, NON-HEADPHONES USERS PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

A few thoughts:

  • I’ve never heard the word ‘pipsqueak’ used so effectively and likely never will again.
  • I’ve also rarely heard the insult “YA PIECE’A SHIT” used with such vigor and sincerity. I mean he just really cuts to the heart of the matter here.
  • He calmly gives instructions for fielding adjustments after screaming at the umpire, so you think it’s all good, BUT NOPE here comes the bats, balls, and any other piece of gear he can find.
  • As a player, I have no idea how you can sit there and maintain your composure while an old, white man screams profanity and throws shit on the field like a giant baby. I would be in tears from laughing so hard.
  • Credit to Wally for calmly telling a small child to get out of the way mid-tantrum.
  • Some Tony Soprano-level heavy breathing post-tantrum.
  • “Let’s go have a beer, Doug” is the best closing line in history. Fin.