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32-34: Chart

The Twins break records, the Mariners break hearts (and also sadder records)

Seattle Mariners v Minnesota Twins Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

The wheel on your childhood wagon that’s slightly rickety and could probably use some oil, but continues to hang in there: Ben Gamel (.075 WPA)

The wheel on your childhood wagon that falls off completely while you’re going faster than you should have been going down the big kids’ hill, sends you careening over the side, and leaves you with minor scrapes and abrasions and an eternal fear of wagons: Christian Bergman (-.563 WPA)

Enjoyability scale: negative one thousand, but plus two for a Chooch strikeout and a Jarrod Dyson home run to tie his career high.